October
by Mystic-Innocense
Summary: Romy songfic set to "October" by Evanescence. I am really not good with summaries but please R&R thanks.
1. Revelation

**I DO NOT and have not ever, unfortunately, owned the x-men nor the song October, Marvel and Evanescence do though ^_~**

This is my absolute first fic and I'm finding myself a bit lost. What do I DO?! Anyway it's a ROMY of course ^_^ set to the song October by Evanescence. I love the song and Autumn is my favorite time of year so it all works out. Also please excuse to punctuation I am so totally horrible at it.

**_"October"_**_  
  
I can't run anymore,  
I fall before you,  
Here I am,  
I have nothing left,  
Though I've tried to forget,  
You're all that I am,  
Take me home,  
I'm through fighting it,  
Broken,  
Lifeless,  
I give up,  
You're my only strength,  
Without you,  
I can't go on,  
Anymore,  
Ever again._

As she walked a little breeze softly caught her hair, whisking pieces of chestnut and white into her eyes, distractedly she lifted her hand to flip it back into place.  She slowly looked at her surroundings noticing for the first time where she was. When she had left the mansion she hadn't wanted to go anywhere specific she just walked, her feet taking her where they wanted. She hadn't been paying much attention there was just too much going on in her head. She came to a stop and sat under a nearby tree.  

It was already a few weeks into the autumn and she really hadn't even noticed. It had always been her favorite season of the year, the colors were so vibrant and beautiful and the air was so sweet, crystal clear you could almost drink it.  She relaxed letting her back rest against the tree, she tilted her head back looking up at the leaves of the maple she had sat under, her green eyes taking in the beauty of the scene, her mind trying to forget the world for a while.  

Breathing in a sigh of defeat she let her mind wander, only to stop on the last thing she wanted to think about, him.  _Why can't he just stay away from me, is he really that dimwitted?  Can't he see that I am a serious health risk? One touch he'd end up in a coma. I wish I had just kept my distance from him. I wish…I wish I hadn't ever laid eyes on him! NO!  As soon as that thought crossed her mind she could have kicked herself.  Realizing that no matter how much she complained she couldn't imagine her life without him now. He was a "friend" now she would grudgingly admit at least that much__.  I just wish he wouldn't flirt soooo much. _

She bit her lip as she tried to avoid a thought that crossed her, the thought that she had managed to avoid all week long. Closing her eyes the memory came unbidden *she could see his fiery eyes looking at her with a mixture of mischief, amusement and something more she couldn't identify but it was there.  In that one moment when he looked at her like that, she felt the whole world stop turning, the air that was supposed to be going in and out of her lungs stopped and she knew. I can't… I… I…love him.  I love him. Oh my god. She turned away from him with a look of pure shock on her face and ran the opposite direction. She could her him calling for her but she just kept running, hoping he wouldn't come after her* Groaning, she stood up so fast she felt dizzy, she still felt like running the same way she did that day. She was still shock and unsure of what to do a whole week later.  She shook her head in disbelief and started back towards the mansion. 

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For now I'm going to leave it at this please give me some feedback, should I continue? All opinions are appreciated Thanks.

Natasha


	2. Acceptance

**X-Men ---****à**** Marvel**

**October-----****à**** Evanescence**

**Me--------------****à**** Poor fan, love'em but don't own any of it,  Except this story ^_~**

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_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)   
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love.  
  
_

Most of the week she made a supreme effort to keep to herself she stayed away from the places she normally frequented cutting the chances of seeing Remy down. Although every time she managed to catch a glimpse of Remy she would make a quick about-face and then pull off an exit that would have made Pietro envious, she was getting good at it.  She was always distracted, bumping into something here or there everything seemed to jump out of nowhere.  "I swear this much thinking can't be good for your health, can it?" she had been saying to herself.It was getting harder to evade Remy though because she couldn't think straight.  A few times she had been so caught up she didn't see him until it was almost too late.  The first time she ducked into a store before he saw her. Only this afternoon she had panicked when she saw him, she remembered throwing the car keys to Kitty and jumping into the passenger's seat hoping Kitty would get them out of there quick. _What was I thinking?_  She phased them through a parked bus and got them home in record time, Thank GOD for Kitty! _Desperation can make you crazy!_

_What am I going to do I can't avoid him forever; I don't want to avoid him forever. Ugh! This is driving me up the wall! _She was slowly starting to accept the fact that she, Rogue, was in love. It was something that she hadn't ever expected to have happen to her in fact she had never actually wanted it to happen, it just did. _I'm not going to question it anymore, I don't know why or how it happened but it did. I'm tired of turning around and running away. I kinda miss talkin to him and by now he probably thinks I'm totally insane or something._

  
  


_I can't run anymore,  
I give myself to you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry,  
In all my bitterness,  
I ignored,  
All that's real and true,  
All I need is you,  
When night falls on me,  
I'll not close my eyes,  
I'm too alive,  
And you're too strong,  
I can't lie anymore,  
I fall down before you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry.  
  
_

It seemed that in the past two weeks she had taken more walks than she ever had in her whole life.  Almost every afternoon she made her way up to the huge maple tree and she sat there until she felt at peace with herself and her thoughts.  The tree had become a companion to her, when she was feeling unease she could hear the leaves, moving in the breeze, whispering to her, calming her.  It was so beautiful sitting there looking at all the trees in their Autumn dressings it was hard not to feel at peace.  

She was able to finally come to terms with what she was feeling. _I guess it's about time I faced it no more running. I'm tired of being alone already. It hurts too much.  I'm not going to ignore what I feel and maybe I'll eventually get up the nerve to tell Remy how I feel about him but till then it will be my secret.  I miss him. I wish he was here with me now. I want to be around him even if we are just friends. I just hope he isn't mad at me for the way I've been treating him lately.  I'm sorry. I'll tell him that much. I'm sorry.  _

With that in mind she resolved to find Remy to apologize for acting strange the past few weeks. Until she saw him though she was going to enjoy the view. She took a deep breath and smiled to herself, slowly she closed her eyes and leaned back against the maple.  She felt relieved, her heart felt light, she felt so alive.  She would see him soon.  Somewhere in the recesses of her mind she could hear a beautiful melody echoing.  "Mmm and love is where I am, my only love " lightly humming aloud she smiled once more as sleep overcame her.

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This song just seems to fit Rogue and Remy's relationship very well (ok maybe not their Evo relationship but ya can't blame a gal for hoping it will develop sometime soon… Cajun Spice was a start) and the first time I heard it I thought it was so beautiful, brought a tear to my eye…(I cried) Amy Lee has such an amazing voice.  I promise I'm getting around to Remy's part but I'm kinda not sure about doing dialogue so I have no idea how it's going to turn out.  Also I haven't really ever had to type accents but at least that I'm not afraid try. Anyone interested in being an editor???????! 

Ishandahalf: Thank you! You are my absolute first review…I really did try to get this out as fast as I possibly could, maybe not like a bunny on crack but hey I tried :P 

Caliente: Thank you as well. What is there not to love about a Romy??? Btw Love your name.

Queen of the Night: I won't leave you hanging I'm going try for three chapters how does that sound? Thanks for the support, reading and reviewing.

Calliann: Not crying…..I HOPE?! Thanks for reading.

Lulu: This is one of Evanescence's earliest songs from what I gather it's a few years old but it is still pretty awesome.  They do have an earlier album I think it is called ummm…. Origin? I'll get back to you on that one for sure though.  Thanks for reading.

I'll be back, hopefully. ^_~  Ummmm, I hope you all like this chapter I have a few more verses of song left to cover so there will be at least one more chapter. Please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas they are always welcome.

Ash


	3. Contemplation

Yes it is me again, I'm back finally! This chapter was kind of fun to write I hope you all enjoy. 

**I don't own the X-men nor the song "October" I really do wish I did but I DON'T, how sad.  In case you don't know who does own them…. it would be Marvel and Evanescence………**

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_  
My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)   
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love._

_  
  
_

High up in the maple tree Remy sat watching Rogue sleep peacefully below.  For two weeks, two whole agonizing weeks he had tried to stay away from her.  He knew something was troubling her and he had hoped that she would confide in him but instead she was avoiding him.  He didn't know what he had done to make her act that way and if he did he would have apologized but she obviously didn't want to talk to him. He was hurt that she didn't want to be around him but more than anything he was worried about her. He really had tried to stay away, he just couldn't.  Since the night she had left him so suddenly he had followed her almost everywhere just to make sure she was ok.  Lately she seemed totally oblivious to anything happening around her.  Whenever he could he had made sure she stayed out of harms way.  

This afternoon he had finally made up his mind to come find her to talk to her.  He wanted to know what was wrong and what he had done to make her mad.  As he watched from his perch he remembered what had happened this afternoon. _*He had seen her out in front of the bookstore talking with Kitty. He had been watching her for a while but when he started walking towards her she noticed him and he stopped in his tracks.  She looked so startled when she saw him she froze for all of a second and then a look of determination came into her eyes and she forced herself into action.  She took the keys to the car and threw them at Kitty telling her she could drive and then she dove into the passenger's seat.  The look of shock  on her face was all that kept him from moving from where he had stood watching them.* After seeing her in town he made his way up to the institute grounds and waited for her in the maple tree. He was sure she would come; she had everyday for the past few weeks. _

He waited until she had been asleep for a while before deftly making his way down the tree. Night had already settled and a light breeze chilled the air he could tell that she was shivering but he didn't want to wake her up she looked so serene.  He took off his coat and covered her with it then he settled down near her.  He softly traced the features of her face with a gloved finger.  "Chere y' so beautiful, Remy jus wish y' knew it" he whispered.  There were a lot of things he wished that she knew about, things that he hadn't been able to tell her yet.  _Ah chere y' everthin to Remy.  Remy be at peace when he's with y'.  Y' give 'im strength, y' make 'im happy.  T'morrow always looks better when he sees it through y' eyes. Y' jus don't know dat do y' chere. Maybe it be time dat Remy told y' dat he never felt dis way before.  Y' it y' his everything.  _

He looked up at the moon, a thin silvery crescent; it looked so fragile just like Rogue but then some appearances were deceiving.  The moon might be a tiny sliver right now but it would soon grow full, it had been in the sky forever and it probably always would be, it was determined to keep circling the earth. Just like Rogue full of determination, she might look vulnerable to him right now but he knew better he remembered seeing the fire in her eyes, her strength.  It was beyond him how she thought that no one could love her, when he had since the first time he saw her.  All he wanted was to be near her, to see her smile, to hear her voice. _If de chere think Remy gonn' let her go dat easily she got another thing comin'. Remy not gonn' let her run from 'im no more. "Mmhmm Remy got it bad" he murmured then he laughed to himself.  Looking back down at Rogue's sleeping form he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. He wondered what she was dreaming about, if he was in her dreams. "Chere I love y'" he said.  _There Remy said it out loud to bad his chere be asleep.__

He looked around again and decided it was time to wake Rogue up before it got too late.  He wanted to talk before he walked her back the mansion.  He slowly reached over to wake her, he touched her face once more before taking her shoulder to shake her gently.  "Chere" he said "chere it be time t' wake up."

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I had a bit of a fun time writing this chapter.  Remy's thoughts and feelings seemed to come together easier than Rogue's thoughts did.  I don't know….but let me know what you think I love to read your reviews.  One more chapter left to go……… I'm dreading the next one…. Dialogue…… I can do this, I can do this! I'll be back soon, I hope ^_~  Hope you liked this Chapter!

Ash

Calliann: Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading.

Yumiko: Thanks for the support. I really am trying it took me forever to start writing this fic. 

Queen of the Night:  Oh I love Evanescence…Wish I could see them in concert.  Oh well.  If you haven't heard the song "October" I recommend it.  Thanks for R&R again!

Ishandahalf:  Back as fast as I could I promise! Thanks for the review it got me motivated to start on Remy's part. Hope you liked it.  Was Remy determined enough??? 


	4. Declaration

Oh my goodness I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I wanted it to be….perfect or as close as **I** could get it… which isn't even close.  Last week was one hell of a week so I tried to write every spare minute I got which wasn't often so it took forever.  Umm…. so here goes my first shot at dialogue.  I hope everyone enjoys and if not oh well at least I tried.  

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_Constantly ignoring,  
The pain consuming me,  
But this time it's cut too deep,  
I'll never stray again._

_  
  
_

Rogue was having a strange dream and it probably had something to do with the fact that Remy was in it.  

_~* She had been feeling so cold and alone then Remy came out of the darkness. He pulled her into his arms and pleasant warmth encompassed her, it made her feel safe and loved.  Even in her dreams he smelt of spice and he still had that gleam of mischief in his eyes.  He was hugging her looking down into her eyes and just as he moved to kiss her she felt herself being pulled away from him._ _She could hear a voice calling to her, someone shaking her gently. *~  _

Slowly she opened her eyes and looked around but saw only dark it took her a minute to remember that she was still under the maple tree.  She sat up wondering what it was that had woken her. She moved to brush the hair out of her eyes  and realized that she was covered with something warm, something that smelled very familiar.  She moved to get up when she realized why her "blanket" smelled so familiar. _No, no_ _it can't be I must still be dreaming… yeah that's—_

"Chere y' still cold?" Remy asked.  Her heart froze _OhmyGod! What is HE doing here?!! _"Chere?"  

"Yes" she automatically answered her mind not fully registering what he said.  "Ok Chere sit still Remy'll make a fire." 

With that he moved away and after a minute there was a faint glow coming from the small fire he had made. He had his back to her and she watched as he slowly added smaller pieces of wood to get the fire to grow. 

 "Remy what are you doing here?" she asked, the question springing from her mouth before she could stop it.  

Slowly he turned to look at her, he regarded her for a moment and then turned back to the fire before replying "Remy is here because de Chere and him gonn have a talk."  _Great, just great a talk!_

"And just what would we have to talk about Cajun?" Again he turned to look at her, his eyes burning her. 

"Everthin', Chere, everythin'" he said.  "But first why don' y' come sit near de fire, warm up." 

"I think I'd rather get back to the mansion, its getting late and…" she stopped talking because he was shaking his head. _ "No Chere, soon y' can go but first we gonn' talk. Now come n' sit by de fire before Remy has t' go n' get y'."   _

Quickly she stood and walked toward the fire and Remy chuckled. _Stubborn fille what is Remy gonn' do with y'? _

He could tell she was nervous. She could feel his eyes following her as she made her way closer to the fire.  _Lord I know I said I wouldn't run anymore but that was on my terms.  What am I gonna do?? Ok Rogue deep breath calm down.  This was the closest she had been to him in two weeks.  She looked back over to where Remy sat. He was still looking at her but he seemed lost in thought. _

She dropped her gaze and turned to stare into the fire. _I missed hearing his voice and the smell of his cologne and I missed those eyes. _

 "Chere," he stood up and walked around the fire to sit by her "why y' avoiding Remy?" Startled she turned from the fire to look at him "I'm not avoiding you" she said.  "Rogue don' lie t' Remy" he said looking at her intently.  _Chere what's goin on in dat mind of yours. _ 

Taking a deep breath she finally replied "I have had a lot of stuff on my mind I just needed some time to myself away from everyone." It was at least a small part of the truth. 

 "Y' wan' tell Remy 'bout it Chere?" he asked softly.  She slowly shook her head and looked down at the ground.  "Chere y' can tell Remy anything y' know dat?" she looked up at him and shook her head.  "No not this time Remy at least not yet" her heart hurt.  She could see the concern written across his face.  

"Rogue, Remy be worried 'bout y' that's all" he said.  "Remy's missed y' chere, y' sure y' ain't mad at him?" 

"I'm not mad at you Remy, I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to seem that way and I missed you too" she said smiling at him.  _Oh dis fille and dat smile gonn' be de end of Remy. _

"De chere missed Remy" he said with a smirk on his face. "How much did y' miss dis Cajun, Rogue?"  Rogue could feel her face heating up but she was determined not to look away from him.  "Oh, just a little" she said and then winked at him slyly.  

"Well chere, Remy don' believe y', Remy thinks y' missed him a whole lot" he said.  He chuckled at the look on her face.  

"Well Mr. LeBeau the Rogue thinks you think way too much for your own good" she replied.  

"So…" he said slowly "Den Remy be thinkin' bout y' way too much Rogue."  She laughed.  "Uh huh and just why would you be thinking about me so much?" 

"Its de only way Remy can have y' 'round all de time Chere."

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)   
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love,  
  
_

"Chere y' been on Remy's mind since the first time he saw y'" he said.  "Oh you mean that time you tried to blow my hand off?" she remarked dryly. 

 "Rogue y' know it wasn't like dat" he said soberly. " Remy wouldn't ever hurt y' intentionally Chere." 

"Yeah I know" she said.  He placed an arm around her shoulders and felt her tense up then slowly relax and lean into him.  _Mmm a gal could get used to this.  _She could feel his strength and his warmth through the jacket that was still wrapped around her. 

He tilted her face up so he could see her eyes.  She had the most beautiful eyes, so big and expressive. He fought the urge to kiss her. "Chere do y' know how beautiful y' are?" he whispered.

She stiffened and pulled away from him abruptly. "I'm not" she bit out her heart racing. He reached over and pulled her back against him. "Yes y' are Rogue t' Remy y' are" he said.  

She looked up at him and he could see fear and pain in her eyes it made his heart break.  "Chere what are y' afraid of?" He held her tighter to him.  "Are y' afraid of Remy?"  He held his breath waiting for her to answer.  

"No" she said in a small voice.  He slowly exhaled, relief surged through him.  "Then what's wrong Chere?" She stayed quiet. She was struggling to get her thoughts in order but having Remy this close to her made it next to impossible. She couldn't even manage to breathe evenly. It felt like someone was twisting her stomach.  

"It's nothing to be concerned about Remy I'll be fine." She managed to get out in an even calm voice. 

"Chere, Remy is always concerned 'bout y' so don't tell him not be" he said.  "Don't y' know dat Remy cares 'bout y' Chere?" She made no move to respond so he decided to try another approach.  

"Dis feels good Remy likes holding you like dis, it feels right." He could see emotions flickering across her face, it fascinated him.  Before she decided which emotion to settle on he continued "Chere y' always in Remy's head and," he took a deep breath "and in his heart."  

"Rem-" she started but he placed a finger over her lips. "Lemme finish Chere. Tonight m' gonn tell y' everything." It was his turn to feel nervous.  

"I just want t' be near y' Chere.  I like hearing your voice and seeing y' eyes and even de way y' fight wit' me and dat smile of yours Chere its gonn' be de end of me." Rogue could feel her eyes starting to get misty.  

"When I saw y' de first time I knew that y' were different.  Y' have haunted me since den, y' always with me." He placed his hand over his heart. 

"Des past two weeks were hell for me. Chere I need y'. I need y' with me and it hurts when y' aren't. Y' everythin' to me Chere. I love y'" 

Rogue was in shock.

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Ok I know I shouldn't but I'm stretching this story one more chapter.  It's late and I have a thirteen hour day on Mondays…wonderful….. I'm going to have Rogue and Remy on the brain now. I have four day weeks with classes and all so mainly I get my writing done from Thursday nights on but I'm really going to try to push that this week.  I had absolutely the hardest time getting what was in my head into words.  The story feels so much different in my head much more dramatic.  Anyway I'll be back with the last part soon.  I wanted to get this out quick I'm sorry I took forever. I'm not satisfied with the way I wrote this part and I'll keep working on it but till then lemme know what you think please REVIEW! I want some opinions before I continue please?...I am just lost… Did you guys watch EVO yesterday?? It was ok…Just hope there's going to be another season.  Rambling on and on….

Anyway be back soon……..

Ash

And now the rush through the reviews ….

Yumiko: lol sorry the chapters are short I'm trying to get them longer it just doesn't seem to be working out that way.  

Queen of the Night: The CD is called "Origin" and I'm very glad you are enjoying this story.

Lulu: Trust me I know how you feel…why can't I find a guy like that *_* life isn't fair….

Katrina5: love…is a wonderful thing…or so I have been told wouldn't know…but yeah Remy is great.  Glad you like the story.

Kyma: Here ya go hope you like enough Romy to make anyone happy.

Caliente: Yup they love each other I wouldn't have it any other way.  Thanks for the faith in me I hope I have at least earned some of it.  Adios ^_~

Destiny Phoenix:  sweetness is good lol.  I have soooooo many ideas happening at once I try not jumble things up sometimes its inevitable though I give myself a headache. _ lol  Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Ishandahalf: lol I love to read your reviews you seem like a happy person.  And thanks for the gold star I'm glad you are enjoying this fic. Sorry it took so long but I got it here asap.

Lid'l Rogue:  Here ya go hope ya enjoy ^­_^

TheWalrusWasPaul:  Thank you thank you and I'll try to keep the sweetness coming.

Samm16:  lol don't sigh too much you are liable to pass out that way.  I know how ya feel I adore Remy to death too and what better person for Rogue they are totally meant to be. 

Calliann:  I hope you enjoy the "talk." I'll keep working on it though.

Personage: you know I think that people underestimate how versatile the word cute really is but its one of my favorites I'm glad very very glad you think it is a cute story.

I don't think I missed anyone and if I did my sincerest apologies….don 't kill me.


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